When Ben first joined Skylar, his Mum was navigating significant challenges to her own overall physical and emotional wellbeing. Ben was displaying behaviours which indicated he was also struggling. When feeling frustrated or upset, Ben would hit, punch and spit at other children and adults, he would also withdraw from group situations.
A typical Skylar day includes children sitting together to eat, this was a new concept for Ben who was unable to sit for more than about 30 seconds, he would often throw his food, take food from others plates, and his preference would be to walk around the room eating. Ben’s Mum was struggling to leave the house and had a deep rooted fear of any services including health professionals, she would not attend the GP to meet her own health needs and was afraid to seek support for Ben.
Ben had limited self-care ability and was not at developmental age related expectations, his overall well-being was a concern and he was failing to thrive emotionally and physically. On entry into Skylar Ben and his Mum were on the shoulder of social care intervention, Skylar had been identified as the tailored, holistic support which could help them both. Bens Mum’s lived experience had included the following: childhood abuse, parental substance addiction, being in and out of the social care system, excluded from school at a young age, reaching adulthood with limited literacy, poor mental health, poor physical health, and domestic abuse. Ben’s Mum was constantly on high alert, a major worry was that “services would take him (Ben) away”. Ben was loved, his basic needs were being met and he was not in danger, however his Mum had little experience of positive parenting herself – so she had limited knowledge to draw upon and they were both struggling to navigate life positively.
Ben’s Mum was navigating deep rooted fears and unprocessed trauma resulting in Ben having a very chaotic first 2 1⁄2 years of life. Ben’s Mum was finding it hard to engage with any other service beyond Trelya, anxiety and depression were negatively impacting every aspect of life, for both her, and her son.
Trelyas wrap around response included the following:
Ben received: Skylar sessions, specialist music therapy, universal music provision, 1:1 time, sessions with one or two other children to help build positive relationship’s, speech and language intervention, health visitor and family work intervention, role modelling (by adults and children), extensive opportunities to learn through play.
Ben’s Mum received: Access to a counsellor, art therapy, literacy and numeracy and other qualifications through Gul, regular access to a supportive adult, access to a parenting worker, nutrition and cooking sessions, self-confidence and wellbeing sessions (including physical activities or trips out).
Together, Mum and Ben received: Play sessions, home visit to help with boundaries and routine (we found that they did not have a dining table so we provided a table and chairs so they could begin to sit and eat together), support with health seeking behaviours (such as GP appointments), supported access to Gallos, Gul and Skylar family activities.
Ben’s Mum was initially very service resistant, she was afraid and suspicious which was a result of her harrowing lived experiences. Our multi-faceted, trauma informed approach enabled gentle, positive relationship building with the family. Trelya supported Mum to identify and understand her own needs, we listened, we ensured she was able to control and steer her support. As Ben’s Mums overall wellbeing improved she became more actively engaged with Bens health, wellbeing and developmental needs.
Progression in Mum mirrored progression in Ben, we saw increased ability to emotionally regulate and a decrease in violence, he began to eat at a table with her peers and developed strong, fun relationships with the Skylar team. Ben began to arrive at Skylar with pictures or cupcakes that he and her Mum had made at home together! Mum was open about her fear of Ben attending school, her personal experiences were negative and her memories sad. We worked with her on this, slowly building confidence and a motivation to develop an interest in Ben’s education. The term before Ben was due to start school we would walk the route from their home to school with them, pop into school to “drop something off” (pre-arranged with the school to help Mum begin to develop positive relationships with school staff). Transition events included meeting school teachers informally at Skylar, learning afternoons (informal way for parents to familiarise themselves with potential school expectations and language – such as phonics). Ben is now thriving within school. Transition was smooth and our family worker worked closely with Mum, school, and CAMHS (Child, Adolescent Mental Health Service) to ensure all presenting needs were being met.
Mum and Ben are now working well with all agencies, collaboration with our range of partners we were able to ensure a 360 degree approach for this family.
There are still the occasional challenges in Ben’s school life however, critically, he is equipped to navigate them and has the resilience to move past them positively and is supported by his Mum who is now confident and engaged with wide support networks, she is regularly exhibiting health seeking behaviours. Ben is at age related expectations of physical and emotional development and as a family unit they are now enjoying increased levels of overall health and wellbeing and are engaging with broader community activities alongside Trelya.
